women in rivolta
to all those women who dare to take what they want
Growing up, I never used to have a long-lasting girl best friend or be surrounded by a group of girls like every Disney show pictured. Before I went to university I had never swapped clothes with my friends or stayed up late talking about how much we liked somebody or how hard it was to be a girl. I have never been a girl’s girl and always had many more guy friends around me instead. Naturally, there were girls I hung out with and at times they’d become more important than others but eventually, we would always end up hurting each other in the meanest way, all because of a boy or a misunderstanding. Girls scarred me, and inevitably I grew sceptical of everyone I would meet. I could not be vulnerable around them because I feared my confessions would eventually come and bite me the moment an argument would arise between us, and arguing with women is so much more painful than with men. They know how to hurt you.
But now, I have never felt closer to the women in my life, I never felt more understood and trusted than by those who have been confiding in me, those who sent me words of love while I walked through changes, those who I was able to be vulnerable and honest with because I rather live through the fear of a possible heartbreak than not have these women in my life at all. When I came back to Europe and met with some of my closest friends, I witnessed how every woman I sat across from had dreams of change for their life also, surprisingly some of them were inspired by my choices to make theirs and all confided in me about such projects. I felt so blessed to be able to hear all their stories, to learn about the bravest plans for their lives and to see the light in their eyes as they took back what was theirs.
So it is because of all these inspiring models that I can find it a little bit easier to navigate what it means to me to be a woman in this world at this time. It is thanks to them that I am writing this and I am doing it sitting on my mum’s terrace, in Italy.
For those who are walking or going to, while you carry your weight across the hot Spanish soil I wish you to leave behind all that has been holding you down, to get rid of those little rocks in your shoes. I wish you to stride with your heads held high because you are an example of courage, strength and liberation for everyone in your lives. I wish you to break down the idea that women need to go on a path to find themselves and that it’s all right if this really long walk is just that to you.
To those who pursue your calling and take a step towards trusting yourself. Thank you for showing all of us that we can allow our jobs to take all our attention and that we can move around the world if it means achieving the professional goals we have set for ourselves. Go tear down Berghain with your music. I cannot wait to come see you behind the deck and dance to your love for this career.
To those women who don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. You move through the world with your kindness and braveness, you conquer other people’s hearts with your authenticity and smile. You feel close even when you are travelling through the whole of South America.
For the mums who decide they aren’t just that anymore, to those women who are not defined by their kids’ lives but they decide to go to Italy and learn how to paint instead. Do turn your child’s bedroom into a pottery studio. Spend two months learning another language or falling in love with your passions. Know that your kids will gain even more love and admiration for you. Take back what is yours and thank you for showing younger generations that our spirits don’t die even if we allow ourselves to become mothers or wives.
To those who found love with themselves, and with someone else and with life again and again and again. You show all of us that it’s never over and that we can reinvent ourselves and become whoever we want. I hope that every place you will be in will reward all your sacrifices. That the sun and love of Thailand will allow you to abandon all the harrowing situations you had to deal with. Oh and thank you for not giving a fuck, ever.
For those who every week come on here and share their deepest and most vulnerable thoughts. Those who support one another with the kindest words even if you don’t live in the same country or have never met each other. You show us that as women we can be closer than ever, we can help one another and even when we are working towards the same goals we do not let the patriarchy corrode us by turning our companionship into a competition.
Those women who dare to stay, to change your life one part at a time because you know yourself well enough to know what needs to go and what doesn’t, you are the bravest of all. You unapologetically take back your spaces and your right to not cook for your partners anymore. As women who stand their ground and do not run away, who invest in what they care for and take the hit if needed, you are warriors. We can’t wait to see what you are capable of. We are on the edge of our seats more than we will be for Paul Mescal in Gladiator II.
To those who have been confined into one of these two categories, married or going insane, and I know it’s most of us, know that you can be both or neither! Don’t listen to your close-minded small-town relatives, you are okay! Never doubt yourself, nobody knows any better than you do.
We are all too good at sitting in discomfort and living in limbos, we are too worried about hurting other people by saying what we feel, or too preoccupied with changing our circumstances because society will make it hard for us to start afresh. We deserve more, so much more, and to those who are now taking what is rightfully yours, you are so brave, you deserve statues, you deserve to be celebrated, not to be questioned or doubted!
I am immensely proud of all the women in my life who dare, and I am not proud of you in a patronising way, because I don’t know any better than you do, I just have this space to tell you that. I am proud of you in an excited ‘jumping up and down’ way, but you all know me well enough to know I don’t do that.
I love you all so much.
Thank you for making it to the end, hope you enjoyed it!
See you next week.
Giorgia xx