i quit my job today, well, monday
how I am learning to listen to myself more and trust my decision making
I have seen so many people on social media post ‘Today I’ve quit my full-time job’ whenever their creative practice goes from hustle to career. I can’t say the same, I have left my full-time job without applying for another one, because I am going to Peru in May.
It has been months in the planning and the main reason I came to Substack. I wanted to be able to share what I’d be living through when travelling solo to another country. I wanted a way to document what I’d experience and also be able to share it with others more intimately and thoroughly than through Instagram entries. I have never felt the urge to publish my newsletter on Instagram, even though it would reach more people, because I want to write here without the pressure of peers I met years ago and don’t speak to any longer.
As I sat across the table from my manager I could not get the words out of my mouth, tears started spreading across my eyes and running down my cheeks. I realised how much I had given to the place I work and how much I got back, and suddenly I didn’t know how to leave.
I have been working in this charity shop in east London for almost two years. Before that, the place was an escape from the toxic environment that is luxury retail, which occupied three days of my weeks with uniforms, ponytails and misogyny. I needed to experience something different, so I began volunteering in this boutique-looking charity shop in Dalston. I was new to the area and thought it would be a good way to become part of the community and meet people. It didn’t take me long to realise how healthy and welcoming the place was, everyone wanted to know more about you and make sure you felt safe and accepted among them. And I did, I felt so safe that I began applying to work in the shop full-time. I knew that going from spending 4 hours a week to 40 hours would not be the same, but I so desperately needed to break free from all the constraints luxury retail had put on my identity. To work in a charity shop not only meant my profession had a purpose that didn’t aliment all that is wrong with this world, but it also gave me the space to express myself and my identity through the clothes I could wear, haircuts, make-up and so on. I was able to learn more about myself every single day I spent there.
I learned that my 18-year-old self chose London, and now, 10 years later, I can allow myself to leave. I didn’t fail at living in this city, I have simply grown.
And now I jump in the dark.
The more I slide all these pieces of the puzzle together, the more real it all seems. At first, it was talking to my partner and my family about going away, then deciding what to do with the house we live in now, and then quitting my job. All these little steps are massive jumps in the dark. All these links that constituted the chain that is my life, are coming apart. I am breaking them. It is extremely scary to stop and think about what will be expecting me in Peru or upon my return. Anxiety starts building and it makes it so easy to almost pull the plug on the whole trip. But I have realised that I'd rather be anxious while hiking trails towards Machu Picchu or while learning how to surf by the coast than feel anxious while sitting on my couch on days off, staring at the grey sky, worried that I am not making the most of my free time.
Eventually, I found the words.
I listened to myself and handed in my notice.
Thank you for reading this far, let me know if you enjoyed it too :)
See you next week,
Giorgia xx
Love!! I moved to London at 18 too :) it’s a gorgeous city but has its ups and downs for sure. It is so refreshing to see someone choose to take the leap into the unknown rather than staying stuck in what is predictable. Can’t wait to read all about your travels. All the very very best
Go you!!!! There’s a saying I love in Spanish: “Cuando haces cosas, pasan cosas” which translates to “when you do things, things happen” it sounds ridiculous but it’s so true if you think about it. If you do the same thing every day and just stick to what’s normal “things” can’t happen as easily but when you start to move things around, you get shifts and new experiences. I’m excited to read about what the future has in store for you 🫂💫🌱